(A correspondence about point of view)

We recently had an email exchange about point of view in story-telling. Let’s just say, it escalated… 

—–Original Message—–
From: Mette Elise Jolly
To: Philippa Hall
Sent: Wed, 4 Jul 2018 12:28
Subject: Third person, past tense


Morning,

Got a question re perspectives. If I tell my story only from Betty’s point of view, can I then also have a narrator’s voice at the same time? Oh dear, does this question even make sense?

Mx


From: Philippa Hall
To: Mette Elise Jolly
Sent: Wed, 4 Jul 2018 13:02
Subject: Third person, past tense

It does make sense. Are you going to write in the first person from Betty’s POV or in third? If it’s third there is more scope for authorial tone coming thru. If this is what you mean? In first you are restricted to Betty’s thoughts and voice only. 

Have I answered the question? You may need to send me an example of what you mean.

Px


—–Original Message—–
From: Mette Elise Jolly
To: Philippa Hall
Sent: Wed 4 July 2018: 13.07
Subject: Third person, Past Tense

I am definitely going to tell her story in third person. But suddenly I couldn’t work out if it was then also OK to have general description. E.g.

‘On the Day Germany invaded Denmark, Betty Thingy was sitting on her porch minding her own business.’

As opposed to ONLY her view

‘I was sitting on the porch scratching my backside when all of a sudden the German army came rushing etc etc.’

x

—–Original Message—–
From: Philippa Hall
To: Mette Elise Jolly
Sent: Wed, 4 Jul 2018 13:45
Subject: Third person, past tense

Yes, you can definitely do that. It’s easy to suddenly get in a state over the details of narrative voice. As long as you don’t go into someone else’s thoughts and feelings, you’re okay.

So you CANNOT say ‘Betty was scratching her backside on the porch while Germany was busy invading Denmark. Her grandmother’s stomach churned at the thought that Betty could be behaving in such an inappropriate manner at such a desperate moment in Danish history.’

You CAN say ‘Betty was scratching her backside on the porch while Germany was busy invading Denmark. She realised that her grandmother was upset when she turned on Betty and said “Your behaviour makes me sick. How could you do this at such a delicate moment in Danish history?’

Or ‘Betty was scratching her backside on the porch while Germany was busy invading Denmark. Her grandmother stared at her in disgust and Betty realised that her behaviour was inappropriate at such a delicate moment in Danish history.’

And you can say ‘Betty was scratching her arse on the porch. Unbeknownst to her, at that moment tanks were rolling across the border bla bla bla..’  Normally a writer might add something like ‘Betty would know this all later, of course, but for now she was blissfully unaware, just doing her scratching etc etc.” But I don’t think you even have to go that far. I think readers will accept the explanation from the author surrounding a character’s POV provided you don’t stray too far. That is far trickier when you are writing in first. Then you do have to add the bit about how you would find out about the tanks and the war starting later etc.

Pxx


On 4 Jul 2018, at 14:39, Mette Elise Jolly wrote:

Thanks – I get it. And I thought that was the case but, like you say, suddenly one’s head gets all confused and starts questioning everything. At least I don’t have multiple points of view, e.g.

‘Betty was sitting on the porch minding her own business when Germany invaded Denmark and Carl couldn’t get over that she hadn’t already started scratching her backside when this was what Betty would normally do in a time of crisis. He knew from his painful expression that Nikolai was considering the same action as this was revealed in Niko’s body language, the usual arms reaching for lower back area, which would mean that soon he would be off too. That’s just what we do in our family thought Niko whilst Vera headed upstairs to apply lipstick. At least she would like to look good when the Germans arrived. ‘That little tart’, thought granny, who knew exactly what was going on. It had been the same in the last war.

X


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