Charlie was zimmering to the supermarket, cursing his threadbare coat, when he bumped into a bear.
‘Shouldn’t you be hibernating?’
The bear licked her lips.
‘Wouldn’t you prefer me fatter?’
She appraised Charlie’s bony body.
‘Let me eat first, we’ll both benefit. Lend me your coat; I’ll be faster warm.’
The bear disrobed.
Charlie put her fur on and hurried to the supermarket. Mistaken for a bear, he didn’t have to pay. When he came out, the naked bear opened her mouth to devour him, but Charlie fed her a kumquat.
‘Why eat me when delicious things exist? Come home and I’ll cook for you.’
Joint winner of the Funny Pearls 100 Word Winter Competition.