Charlie was zimmering to the supermarket, cursing his threadbare coat, when he bumped into a bear. ‘Shouldn’t you […]
Autumn/Winter ’19
Farm2City Mobile December 23 03:27 a.m. Hey Tina, sorry to do this by text but seriously, Sis, you […]
I love Christmas, but Christmas doesn’t always love me. The worst was my first Christmas without my father. […]
December 1st Dear Santa, Here we are again. December. The season to be jolly. The season to eat […]
04.00 The woman on the app says that when you’ve tried everything and you still can’t go to […]
Uniform List When I see that twelve year-old girl trailing her mum round Bury Market, I just want […]
It’s probably not something people want to talk about, shitting yourself as an adult. But for me, it […]
Dear Mrs Dunkerly, I wish to return the product supplied to me in the autumn of 2001. Upon […]
Husband, being so much better at fighting the big fights, convinces me to overlook the fetid Petri dish […]
That bitch Dolores is back again. She’s outside my bedroom window, lurking in the bushes. I only hope […]
I’m suspended 15,000 feet above the Earth, bang in the middle of my worst nightmare. I’m wearing a […]
A year after my mother died, and on her birthday no less, she told me to throw away […]
Is this thing on? How can I tell if it’s recording? Oh yes, there’s the green light. Well, […]
They made statues of us all last year, so we must be famous, like Nelson on his column […]