Christmas Guide

December 2020 promises to be challenging for most of us. To ease the burden for our readers, Funny Pearls have teamed up with our most trusted correspondents to curate this handy mini-guide, bursting with festive tips and advice.

Whether you’re having trouble finding inspiration for your Christmas messages or selecting the perfect gifts, Funny Pearls are here for you.

We have your back when you’re facing the firing squad that is the parents-teacher association or if, by accident, you shit yourself when on a Christmas date with the person of your dreams.

Nothing is too small or too smelly for the Funny Pearls panel. Not even the leftovers that will soon be stealing the space in your fridge. We show you how to knock up something nutritious in a matter of minutes and how to look good while doing it. On the subject of ‘doing it’, if you’re still reeling at the memory of your parents getting frisky last Christmas, Funny Pearls will keep you company while you fight off the images. We’re on hand for all things family related, from the mother-in-law who wants her present back to the sister who drunk-texts.

And remember: Always be careful what you wish for.

BONUS: If  you’ve got too much environmentally unfriendly glitter in your eyes to bother with reading, why not access our tips in audio format? Click here for the Christmas Card Audio Lecture and here for an instruction in the operation of Christmas gadgets. No batteries needed.

Happy December!


The Christmas Log by BF Jones. A December Diary.

The River by Jenny Ireland. On a ‘Different’ Date.

Chocolate by Rebecca Taylor. The Perils of Re-gifting.

Cook’s Tip by Sal Page.  Delicious recipes.

Be Careful What You Wish for by Jenny Ireland. Where do you want to go?

The Christmas Card by Rebecca Taylor. Round Robin Olympics.

The Pinnacle of the Christmas Fair by BF Jones. On Other People’s Parents.

Good Skin. A celebrity reveals all.

A Gas Station Christmas. Swapping for a new model.

It’s Not Christmas without Butter by Myna Chang. Sisterly correspondence.


The Funny Pearls New Year’s Self-Help Guide will be out on 28th December.